{"id":717,"date":"2012-11-14T09:30:44","date_gmt":"2012-11-14T09:30:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crankpunk.com\/?p=717"},"modified":"2012-11-19T15:11:56","modified_gmt":"2012-11-19T15:11:56","slug":"rrrring-rrrring-uci-doping-line","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/2012\/11\/14\/rrrring-rrrring-uci-doping-line\/","title":{"rendered":"rrrring! rrrring! UCI doping line!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"718\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/2012\/11\/14\/rrrring-rrrring-uci-doping-line\/th-11\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th.jpg?fit=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"300,199\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"th\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th.jpg?fit=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-718\" title=\"th\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th.jpg?resize=300%2C199&#038;ssl=1\" height=\"199\" width=\"300\" \/><\/a>UCI: &#8216;allo &#8216;allo! UCI doping hotline! what would you like to talk about?<\/p>\n<p>rider x: &#8230;. ah&#8230; well, ah&#8230; this is kind of weird&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>UCI: is this your first time, calling us?<\/p>\n<p>x: um, yes&#8230; yes it is.<\/p>\n<p>UCI: relax, take it easy, take a deep breath and tell me what you&#8217;re calling for.<\/p>\n<p>x: i have complete anonymity right?<\/p>\n<p>UCI: positively.<\/p>\n<p>x: &#8230; is that a joke?<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>UCI: what?&#8230; oh no, sorry! i mean, yes, complete anonymity. now then, can we get on with this, we&#8217;re a bit short here and i&#8217;ve got those bloody SKINS people to deal with&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>x: ok. i&#8217;m calling about EPO, HGH, masking agents and that new stuff, KaPow.<\/p>\n<p>UCI: KaPow? are you taking the piss?<\/p>\n<p>x: what?<\/p>\n<p>UCI: are you extracting the urine? are you pulling my leg? having a laugh? what the heck is KaPow?<\/p>\n<p>x: i thought you&#8217;d know, i was told &#8211;<\/p>\n<p>UCI: ok, look i haven&#8217;t got time for this, let&#8217;s get on with it. EPO, HGH, masking agents, Kafriggin&#8217;Pow. who, where, &amp; when?<\/p>\n<p>x: ah, well i thought you&#8217;d tell me that&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>UCI:\u00a0 eh? no no, come on now, surely you know how this works&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>x: erm, well, i&#8217;d hoped it&#8217;d be less complicated than this, to be honest. i thought i&#8217;d just tell you the &#8216;what&#8217;, and you&#8217;d tell me the where and when.<\/p>\n<p>UCI: you&#8217;ve lost me.<\/p>\n<p>x: this is the UCI doping line, right?<\/p>\n<p>UCI: yes, of course it &#8211; oh, wait. hang on a minute. you&#8217;re not calling to tell us about someone you think or know is doping, are you&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>x: um&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>UCI: you&#8217;re calling to try to <em>buy <\/em>some dope &#8211; right?<\/p>\n<p>x: erm&#8230;. i thought this was the<em> UCI<\/em> <em>doping hotline&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>UCI: yes, <em>anti-<\/em>doping&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>x: ah&#8230; ! i see! oh erm&#8230;. oh i&#8217;m terribly sorry! i thought it all seemed a little too&#8230; convenient<em>. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>UCI: no need to apologise &#8211; you&#8217;re the sixth rider to call in making the same mistake actually, and we&#8217;ve only been open 40 minutes&#8230; they were all after dope.<\/p>\n<p>x: &#8230;.i don&#8217;t suppose you have <em>another <\/em>number&#8230; do you?<\/p>\n<p>UCI: don&#8217;t push your luck son.<\/p>\n<p>x: right-o. bye then.<\/p>\n<p>UCI: ciao.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_723\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-723\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th-2.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"723\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/2012\/11\/14\/rrrring-rrrring-uci-doping-line\/th-2-5\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th-2.jpg?fit=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"300,168\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"th-2\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;hang on&amp;#8230; is that my phone i can hear?&lt;\/p&gt;\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th-2.jpg?fit=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-723\" title=\"th-2\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/th-2.jpg?resize=300%2C168&#038;ssl=1\" height=\"168\" width=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-723\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">hang on&#8230; is that my phone i can hear?<\/figcaption><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>UCI: &#8216;allo &#8216;allo! UCI doping hotline! what would you like to talk about? rider x: &#8230;. ah&#8230; well, ah&#8230; this is kind of weird&#8230; UCI: is this your first time, calling us? x: um, yes&#8230; yes it is. UCI: relax, take it easy, take a deep breath and tell me what you&#8217;re calling for. x: i have complete anonymity right? UCI: positively. x: &#8230; is that a joke?<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40955418,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","wpupg_custom_link":[],"wpupg_custom_link_behaviour":[],"wpupg_custom_link_nofollow":[],"wpupg_custom_image":[],"wpupg_custom_image_id":[],"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[119818829],"tags":[124273173,237501],"class_list":["post-717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dopepunk","tag-doping-hotline","tag-uci"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"UCI: &#039;allo &#039;allo! 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Let\u2019s cut to the chase. Tinkoff-Saxo\u2019s Michael Rogers is a divisive figure and many would have watched the finale of yesterday\u2019s Stage 11 of the 2014 Giro d\u2019Italia in a slightly perplexed state, unsure whether or not to cheer on the Australian\u2019s undoubtedly\u2026","rel":"","context":"dopepunk","block_context":{"text":"dopepunk","link":"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/category\/dopepunk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/giro_ditalia-2-3.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/giro_ditalia-2-3.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/crankpunk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/giro_ditalia-2-3.gif?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5937,"url":"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/2015\/03\/09\/uci-employing-former-doper-man-behind-mtn-qhubeka-also-responsible-for-development-of-african-talent\/","url_meta":{"origin":717,"position":2},"title":"UCI employing former doper &#8211; 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