{"id":278,"date":"2012-10-22T08:34:13","date_gmt":"2012-10-22T08:34:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crankpunk.com\/?p=278"},"modified":"2012-10-22T08:37:06","modified_gmt":"2012-10-22T08:37:06","slug":"max-torque-interview-a-convicted-doper-speaks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crankpunk.com\/ja\/2012\/10\/22\/max-torque-interview-a-convicted-doper-speaks\/","title":{"rendered":"Max Torque interview: a convicted doper speaks"},"content":{"rendered":"

an interview here with Max Torque, pro rider at Rabodale-Caisse-Tana, who recently tested positive for EPO, HGH, blood transfusions, Eskimo Placebo, High Grade Spanish Bull Faeces (99%) and pregnancy. <\/del>Torque, who’s won jack-all in his 11 years as a pro, was banned for 23 days (retroactively), a decision he feels was unjust. he denies any wrongdoing whatsoever and challenges all the positive test results (apart from the pregnancy – he’s due in January). he contacted crankpunk in a bid to clear up the issues surrounding his case.<\/p>\n

crankpunk: hello Max<\/p>\n

Max Torque: [silence]<\/p>\n

cp: er… now then Max, there’s been a lot written in the press about you recently<\/p>\n

MT: i bring the ruckus, that’s why<\/p>\n

cp: … what does that mean?<\/p>\n

MT: … i’m not sure… whatever you want it to mean. are you recording this?<\/p>\n

cp: yes, i told you i was. it’s an interview.<\/p>\n

MT: are you a Fed?<\/p>\n

cp: what….? no, i’m a journalist.<\/p>\n

[at this point Torque subjected crankpunk to a body search, leaving me shaken and a little disturbed. later, i noticed my wallet was missing. Torque has yet to return my calls and texts regarding its disappearance]<\/p>\n

MT: hmm, ok. i will have to see that you eat this tape though after this interview is over.<\/p>\n

cp: are you serious?<\/p>\n

MT: nah i’m just fooling! but, you will<\/em> have to eat it.<\/p>\n

cp: … now then Max, if we can begin. essentially you deny all accusations of doping.<\/p>\n

MT: i do<\/p>\n

cp: despite testing positive for EPO, HG-<\/p>\n

MT: ok ok, i know what i took – i mean – what… i’m accused… of taking. and it’s all a lie.<\/p>\n

cp: but you tested positive for everything, twice within 12 days. that’s 6 tests, double samples, so effectively 12 positives. the lab said they’d never seen such a high percentage of Spanish Bull Faeces. you were almost off the charts.<\/p>\n

MT: … what are you saying?<\/p>\n

cp: that you’re full of bullsh*t.<\/p>\n

MT: look, i was spiked. or the testing procedure was wrong. or the lab rats were paid to return those positives. or you’re lying. and i eat a lot of beef, i mean, i practically bovine. or – [at this point a lawyer came into the room and whispered into Max Torque’s ear]\u00a0 – ok, he said i’m gonna have to bake the spliff. i’m baking the spliff, all the way. i’m baked.<\/p>\n

cp: what? baking the… do you mean taking the 5th?<\/p>\n

MT: [again, the lawyer whispered into Torque’s ear] Shut up. Just stop talking.<\/p>\n

cp: … did he just tell you to shut up and stop talking?<\/p>\n

MT: look, let me be clear on this – i cannot answer that question without implicating myself and so i say to myself\u00a0 to the best of my abilities that i love the sport and that you should too and that you should believe better than you do, cos it’s a beautiful thing and i want to thank my sponsors and yes, i believe you are correct on that point but in fact i do not recall the original question nor the date you mentioned nor the thing we are actually talking about.<\/p>\n

cp: [at this point the lawyer sighed heavily before leaving the room] ok, Max, in your own words, how do you actually think the EPO, HGH etc etc came to be in your system?<\/p>\n

MT: i never doped. let me be clear on that. it may have been that i was drugged, however, without my knowledge.<\/p>\n

cp: are you saying that your team doctor doped you?<\/p>\n

MT: did i say that? jeez i am on so much stuff right now i can’t remember what the heck i had for breakfast. look, there was a day i remember, vaguely, when a doctor somewhere told me to take some stuff and it was in a bag. it was hanging on the wall, on a picture hook. it had a brand name, on the bag if i remember, OPE, something like that. it’s all very vague, there were so many days like that. i mean… it happened once.<\/p>\n

cp: OPE…<\/p>\n

MT: oh yeah man, i took truckloads of the stuff. that and HGH, spelt funny, like, backwards.<\/p>\n

cp: backwards…<\/p>\n

MT: yeah, actually there was another one called OMIKSE something or other.<\/p>\n

cp: so, your defense is that you didn’t know that OPE was EPO, that HGH ‘spelt funny’ wasn’t in fact Human Growth Hormone with a backwards ‘G’, and that OMIKSE wasn’t in fact Eskimo Placebo? seriously?<\/p>\n

MT: look, you can put words in my mouth and drugs up my nose all day, but the fact is –<\/p>\n

[at this point the interview had to be terminated. the fire alarm rang and the hotel was evacuated. there was never any fire discovered. Torque has not been seen since]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

an interview here with Max Torque, pro rider at Rabodale-Caisse-Tana, who recently tested positive for EPO, HGH, blood transfusions, Eskimo Placebo, High Grade Spanish Bull Faeces (99%) and pregnancy. Torque, who’s won jack-all in his 11 years as a pro, was banned for 23 days (retroactively), a decision he feels was unjust. he denies any wrongdoing whatsoever and challenges all the positive test results (apart from the pregnancy – he’s due in January). he contacted crankpunk in a bid to clear up the issues surrounding his case. crankpunk: hello Max Max Torque: [silence] cp: er… now then Max, there’s been a lot written in the press about you recently MT: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40955418,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","wpupg_custom_link":[],"wpupg_custom_link_behaviour":[],"wpupg_custom_link_nofollow":[],"wpupg_custom_image":[],"wpupg_custom_image_id":[],"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[119818829],"tags":[9505,767233535,77823,6200,115172,403470,767233542,4014911,12],"class_list":["post-278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dopepunk","tag-confession","tag-cycling","tag-doping","tag-drugs","tag-epo","tag-hgh","tag-interview","tag-max-torque","tag-testing"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t